Do you think you’re a Christian because you bang on about “back to basics” morality, and boast about being “born again”, and bore everyone with your “personal relationship with Jesus”? Do you really think that because you can parrot chapter and verse of the Bible, and presumptuously declare “God says this” and “God says that”, you actually know what God is saying to us here and now? You’re so sure that you’re God’s gift to the world that you go around “saving” atheists and Muslims, and filling young people with a lot of mawkish nonsense, either marketing Jesus as a must-have commodity or selling him as a fire insurance policy, treating the gospel as a carrot or a stick. Yes, you think you’ve got all the answers, some right down to the date of the return of Christ, the holy host of a party in the cumuli. What a bunch of assholes!
And it gets better and better. You condemn stealing – and then trumpet capitalist economies that destitute and oppress millions. You condemn adultery and homosexuality – and then climb in the sack with (the almighty) Buck. You condemn mendacity and murder – and then start wars with lies and wage them with wanton indiscriminateness, even justifying torture in your crusade against evil, fighting terror with terror in corruption of the very values you claim to defend. You drape the cross with a flag, and with hand on heart you say “God bless America!” You hypocritical bastards! With gut-wrenching irony you confirm the scripture: “You turn God into a monster, you bring the name of God into disrepute all over your squalid empire!”
“Harrumph!” you indignantly exclaim. “We are baptised!” Big fucking deal! What difference does it make? Baptism is of value only if you actually obey the teachings of the one in whose name you are baptised. If you follow the Sermon on the Mount more in the breach than the observance, your baptism isn’t worth squat. The name of Jesus becomes the name of Anti-Jesus. You might just as well have been dunked in urine. Conversely, those who aren’t baptised but who visibly embody the Beatitudes – they are truly baptised by the Spirit, not on their skin but in their souls, where it counts. It’s not water that makes people friends of Jesus, it’s the kind of life they live, the kind of life Jesus himself lived, a life of grace and peace, whether or not they know the name you so sanctimoniously proclaim. You say they will go to hell. Who gives a shit what you say? It’s what God says that counts. And God knows his own.