Conflagration for Christ

by Kim on May 28, 2011

With the permission of the Swansea City Fire Department, and with some pyrotechnical guidance from the experienced pastor Terry Jones (cheers, mate), I am planning to stage a public book-burning outside my church sometime this summer. I’m calling it Conflagration for Christ, and I have hopes that it will be the start of an evangelistic campaign that will surpass even the famous 1904-05 Welsh Revival. I intend to begin the inferno with the invocatory prayer “Blaze, Spirit, blaze”, and then sing “Light up the fire and let the flame burn”, before torching the Left Behind series for kindling. Once the fire is alight, I’ll be adding copies of The Late Great Planet Earth, The Prayer of Jabez, Hours of Power, and The Purpose-Driven Life. In case of rain, I have several copies of the film The Passion of the Christ - celluloid is highly inflammable. I’m checking local bookshops for any James Dobson, Benny Hinn, and Joel Osteen best-sellers to add to this bonfire of vanities, and I would be most grateful for further suggestions on combustible material. Any title that begins How to … is sure to be hot stuff. Oh, and forget about Love Wins. When matches didn’t work, I tried a Bunsen burner – the book is fireproof.

Many thanks,
Kim

{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }

1

Richard 05.28.11 at 5:20 pm

I was going to start shouting about how I don’t approve of book burning. Then I read the list of your fuel. Can I bring my fire steel to get it going?

2

Joseph W 05.28.11 at 5:45 pm

The prayer of Jabez, haha!

3

Paul F. 05.28.11 at 6:16 pm

Anything by Cornelius Van Til, Francis Schaeffer and Wayne Grudem (just to name a few) would be suitable kindling in my view.

4

ann 05.28.11 at 7:45 pm

Pat Robertson’s entire oeuvre.

5

Richard 05.28.11 at 8:54 pm

Come to think of it, almost everything by anyone who has made a big noise in television ‘ministry’ should probably be added to Kim’s pile. But it might be best if they were pulped and compressed into logs first. That way we might get a useful fire instead of just a load of smoke and flame.

6

Earl 05.28.11 at 11:06 pm

“Oh, and forget about Love Wins. When matches didn’t work, I tried a Bunsen burner – the book is fireproof.” Little lighter fluid and a Zippo… it’ll go! Certain. ;)

7

Richard 05.28.11 at 11:22 pm

This scout and his fire steel needs no lighter fluid. That’s cheating!

8

Bene D 05.29.11 at 4:58 am

Prayer clothes should be fair fuel, don’t forget to add whatever Purpose Driven paperbacks you can find.:^)

9

Bene D 05.29.11 at 4:58 am

ar arr arrr, that should be cloths, not clothes.

10

Richard 05.29.11 at 1:57 pm

I bet those green prayer cloths would burn merrily. Good idea!

11

Kim 05.29.11 at 2:45 pm

If anybody’s got any “Christ-honouring” paraphernalia or “witness wear”, bring ‘em along. And Bibles - yes, Bibles! - the ones that are marketed as “the Bible that’s right for YOU”, designer Bibles for target audiences, branded Bibles that make a fashion statement about your “unique Christian identity”, accessory Bibles that come in all shapes, sizes, colours, and formatting - there are literally thousands - bring ‘em along too!

12

Richard 05.29.11 at 2:51 pm

It’s going to be quite a blaze — I think you may need to talk to the fire service again.

13

Kim 05.29.11 at 3:19 pm

I think you’re right!

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