From the sacred texts of the cult of Monty Python, viii, “Full frontal nudity” (first broadcast December 14, 1969)
Customer: Hello, I wish to register a complaint… Hello? Miss?
Shopkeeper: What do you mean, miss?
Customer: I’m sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint.
Shopkeeper: Sorry, we’re closing for lunch.
Customer: Never mind that my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
Shopkeeper: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue…What’s,uh…What’s wrong with it?
C: I’ll tell you what’s wrong with it, my lad. ‘E’s dead, that’s what’s wrong with it!
S: No, no, ‘e’s uh,…he’s resting.
C: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I’m looking at one right now.
S: No no he’s not dead, he’s, he’s restin’! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn’it, ay? Beautiful plumage!
C: The plumage don’t enter into it. It’s stone dead.
S: No, no! It’s just resting!
You’re entitled to wonder what this has to do with today. I’ve just done a Google search on “Holy Week events” to see what’s beeing said about today. I’ve discovered that there is a stock phrase in use: “Jesus rested in the tomb while his disciples observed the Sabbath”
I hate to be blunt, but that’s pious nonsense. It makes it sound as if Jesus has just gone for a little lie down. But he’s not resting. He’s dead.
I mean, like, really dead. Isn’t that the whole point?