The Apostles’ Creed for liberals

by Kim on July 22, 2013

I believe in God the Father, Mother, Life-Force, or whatever metaphor tickles your fancy, fashioner of heaven and earth from the stuff generated by the Big Bang.

I believe in Jesus of Nazareth, a great guru, a good mate,
who was conceived as anyone is conceived,
born of Mary,
suffered under Pontius Pilates,
was crucified, dead, and buried (or at least dumped on the city rubbish tip);
I repeat – he died.
On the third day – he was still dead, I’m afraid – but his disciples had fond memories of him.
On the fortieth day – yep, still dead;
his memory entered into yet more hearts,
he is “seated” at the “right hand” of the whomever-or-whatever
(it doesn’t really matter – this is all dispensable archaic imagery),
and he won’t be coming again – think “Norwegian Blue” –
and if he were to come again, he’d be mega-tolerant.

I believe in good, good, good vibrations,
going to church,
goodness in everybody,
forgiving and forgetting,
I don’t know, Nirvana, some kind of memory bank, whatever, but nothing somatic – yuk!,
and the Big Crunch.
That’s a wrap.

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The most interesting theologians in the world | NEAR EMMAUS
07.27.13 at 6:02 pm

{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }


Allan R. Bevere 07.22.13 at 3:11 pm


Once again stirring the pot.

Keep up the good work!


Kim 07.22.13 at 3:15 pm

Smoking it too, Allan. ;)


Brian LePort 07.23.13 at 5:55 am

Nicely done.


Pseudonym 07.23.13 at 5:56 am


Richard 07.23.13 at 6:49 am

Thanks for bringing some life to the place Kim! Nicely put.


David Griffiths 07.23.13 at 6:02 pm

What’s wrong with being middle-aged, Pseudonym? I’m passed that, & life is great. Went to the gymnn this morning & had a great time 0n the apparatus.


Richard 07.23.13 at 6:11 pm

Good point, David.

Not that I’m admitting to being middle aged! ;)


mark mcculley 07.24.13 at 4:16 am

And when shall we expect the Apostle’s Creed for Barthians?

And also the post-Holocaust Apostle’s Creed for Jews Who Don’t Start with Jesus as the Solution?

Cuddihy: to become post-liberal, one needs to get over the offense that God already chose a tribe….


Kim 07.24.13 at 10:29 am

@ mark

(1) I’ll let someone else take the piss out of Barthians, Mark, and I trust a good Barthian Apostles’ Creed will give me a good belly-laugh.

(2) The Apostles’ Creed is intrinsically and irreducibly trinitarian, so why would any Jew, pre- or post-Shoah, want a reconstructed one? Why would any Christian want to insult Jews by reconstructing one? Furthermore, the last thing a responsible Christian would want to do is to joke about the Shoah.

(3) As for the offense of Jews being the Chosen People, one needs not only to get over it but indeed to embrace it. And, of course, Christian liberals also need to embrace the “scandal of particularity” who is Messiah Jesus, while conservative evangelicals need to abandon their supersessionism.

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