Stuff Happens

by Kim on June 19, 2006

Stuff happens. What do the world’s religions have to say about this vexing existential problem?

Taoism: Stuff happens. Who gives a stuff?

Hinduism: This stuff has happened before and will happen again.

Buddhism: The stuff that happens doesn’t really.

Zen: What is the sound of stuff happening?

Islam: The stuff that will happen will happen.

Judaism: Lord, why is this stuff happening to me?

Evangelicalism: Jesus, we praise you and just wanna ask why this stuff isn’t happening to someone else?

Catholicism: Stuff happens because you deserve it.

Open Theism: Stuff happens to God too.

Pentacostalism: Tuffs appensh.

Anglo-Catholicism: Verily, verily, stuff happeneth.

Atheism: Stuff happens. Then you die. No more stuff.

Rastafarianism: Let’s smoke the stuff.

{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }

1

Richard 06.19.06 at 6:25 pm

  :)

2

Beth 06.20.06 at 10:15 am

I have a sneaking suspicion that you’ve replaced some other word with “stuff” here, Kimmy…

3

tortoise 06.20.06 at 12:52 pm

Beth - yup, as anyone who’s been past a certain shop window here in Cambridge could testify.

But Kim - I always thought theodicy wasn’t your thing? ;)

4

Kim 06.20.06 at 2:43 pm

You’re right there, Tortoise. Theodicists need have long spoons with the table-company they keep! But “keep your friends close - and your enemies closer” - that’s my motto.

By the way, I’ve sent a letter to Reform on the cross. It was quite long: if they publish it, I hope they don’t edit it; if they edit it, I hope they don’t emasculate it.

Yours,
Kim

5

Richard 06.20.06 at 3:37 pm

If they edit it, you could always post the whole thing here!

6

Kim 06.20.06 at 4:11 pm

Thanks, Richard, but it’s a reply to an article - and to a reply to the article! It wouldn’t quite work on its own.

7

Beth 06.20.06 at 8:33 pm

I’ve seen that shop window, tortoise! Ah, the nostalgia…

8

Guy 06.20.06 at 10:30 pm

Nice.

9

Kim 06.21.06 at 5:10 pm

Hi Guy,

Glad you liked my “stuff”.

Out of interest I had a look at your blog. Nice one.

And the Complete Profile. Interesting. For example: Dr. Pepper and Peanut M&Ms. I’m an ex-pat New Yorker (my mom was from Georgia though!) who has lived in the UK for over thirty years, and among the things I missed most for many of them were Dr. Pepper and Skippy Super Crunch Peanut Butter (a colleague over here from Chicago still gets Kool-Aid mailed to him regularly). Globalisation - i.e. Americanisation - has insured that I can get them now; decent ice cream too.!

Asher Lev and Unforgiven - two other things we have in common. Johnny Cash too. Dare I ask you what you think of my beloved Dixie Chicks?

There is only one major problem: the Aggies I can forgive you - after all, it’s not your fault that you’re a Texan, indeed it makes you a compatriot of the great Stanley Hauerwas. But football is one thing - it’s an outer courtyard; but when we get to the Holy of Holies - baseball - well the Astros over-stretch my tolerance. I see you’ve got the old man back on the mound. Well, at least you’re a team that cares for the elderly, but we’ll show him no mercy next time you’re in Shea. Yes, I’m a Mets fan and this is my year!

Great talking to you, and every blessing to you and yours.

Kim

10

Richard 06.21.06 at 5:24 pm

*sigh*

The greatest competition in world sport in full swing, and Kim talks about baseball… ;)

11

DH 06.21.06 at 5:51 pm

Richard, Kim trying to prevent the globilzation of soccer from taking place. Oh I’m sorry football, oh I’m sorry which “football” are we talking about. It seems there is a double standardwith regard to globalization. :) (just being humorous and having fun with you Brits and American
ex-pats) :) (Richard and Kim, you guys are fun.) :)

12

Guy 06.21.06 at 10:40 pm

Thanks, Kim. Glad to hear I’ve got a friend in the UK, and glad to know you can now get the Dr Pepper you were so longing for.

As for the Dixie Chicks, I like them. I don’t own any of their stuff, but I like them fine. The hub-bub about their new CD and song, “Not ready to make nice” has been interesting to watch. Personally, I don’t think they have anything to make nice about. But that doesn’t mean that their concerts will go back to selling out or anything.

As for baseball (warning: friendly barb ahead), I was pleased with last year’s Astros season, winning the NL and going to the World, er, American, Series. Ok, so that part didn’t go so well, but it was still a great year. And yes, we are excited to have the Rocket back. Not many geriatrics like him can lead the league in ERA at age 42 like he did last year. But your Mets are having a heck of a season. I see that Beltran looks like he may turn out to be a good deal for you after all. ;-)

Potok is really a fantastic writer: Asher Lev, The Chosen, In the Beginning…I’ve really loved everything I’ve read of his so far.

13

Beth 06.22.06 at 9:58 am

Great to hear some sports talk about a real game for a change!

Coincidentally, it was Kim’s daughter who first introduced me to Chaim Potok, and I’ve been spreading the word ever since. The Chosen is one of those rare books which I can re-read indefinitely. That’s some good “stuff”. :)

14

Guy 06.22.06 at 8:05 pm

I’m with you, Beth. The Chosen is on my re-read list. I love the rich depth of Potok. I learned of him through my wife. She did an internship in college at a theatre company in Philadelphia. During her stint, they produced a stage version of The Chosen and she met him. So later, when we got married, she had all these paperbacks of his that she’d picked up from a used bookstore and I read one (The Promise) b/c I was looking for a good novel. That got me hooked.

15

Joel 06.25.06 at 4:04 am

Prcoess theology: not the same old stuff yesterday, today and forever.

Liberation theology: God will liberate me of that stuff.

Feminist theology: just as much stuff happened to Adam as to Eve, you know.

16

Kim 06.25.06 at 10:53 am

Great, Joel!

That’s the way the list started off - a few suggestions - then I took it from there. Thanks for adding to it.

17

Beth 06.25.06 at 12:04 pm

Buddhism: Stuff? What stuff?

18

Beth 06.25.06 at 12:05 pm

Oh, you already had a Buddhism :( Well, I prefer mine. *sulks in a corner*

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