My mother just sent me the following, which I have slightly adapted.
A kindergarten teacher gave her class a Show and Tell assignment. Each pupil was instructed to bring in a religious object to share with the class.
The first pupil got up in front of the class and said, “My name is Benjamin, I’m Jewish, and this is a Star of David.”
A second pupil got up in front of the class and said, “My name is Saleem, I’m a Muslim, and this is our holy book the Koran.”
A third pupil got up in front of the class and said, “My name is Mary, I’m a Catholic, and this is a rosary.”
A fourth pupil got up in front of the class and said, “My name is Adam, I’m an Episcopalian, my Dad’s a priest, and this is a dog collar.”
Finally, a fifth pupil got up in front of the class and said, “My name is Charles, I’m a Methodist, and this is a quiche.”
{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
Olive Morgan 09.26.06 at 10:00 am
Some of us were disappointed not to find a quiche after the ordination services in Edinburgh this year - only tea/coffee and biscuits!
Richard 09.26.06 at 10:11 am
I can go off people, Kim.
Actually, though, one of the greatest mysteries of our time is the problem of quiche. When I was growing up there was no such thing. We had egg and bacon flan. (Mind you, we never had it at church. The meal of choice there was ‘pea & pie’ supper) Somewhere along the line, the humble fan became gentrified and re-emerged as the now-ubiquitous quiche. But nobody seems to know how it happened.
I’m not one for conspiracy theories but…
David Faulkner 09.26.06 at 1:53 pm
Quiche? I thought it would be weak tea in a green cup.
Beth 09.26.06 at 2:07 pm
Bill Clinton is out to dinner, surrounded as usual by aides and so on. After a while of his scanning the menu, a pretty young waitress comes to the table and asks him what he’d like to order. He says “How about a quickie, dear?”, she slaps him in the face and stalks away. One of the aides leans over and says “Sir, I think you’ll find that item is pronounced ‘keesh’.”
Kim 09.26.06 at 2:54 pm
Brilliant, Beth!
Joel 09.26.06 at 3:52 pm
In the U.S. it might be green bean casserole or macaroni and cheese. For the most part, we don’t do quiche, which I believe I’ve eaten twice in my life.
Richard 09.26.06 at 4:01 pm
Beth —
Kim 09.26.06 at 4:47 pm
Funny you should say that, Joel. In the version my Mum (Mom!) sent me - she lives on Long Island - the word was indeed “casserole”! I made the change for a British audience.
Interestingly, I think there is a lesson here in the way the Jesus-tradition was passed on in different contexts.
Beth 09.26.06 at 5:38 pm
“My name is Beth, I’m an Anglican, and this is a schism…”
Kim 09.26.06 at 5:42 pm
Hi Beth.
Sounds like you’re introducing yourself at an AA meeting! So you mean you’re a recovering Anglican?
Beth 09.26.06 at 8:33 pm
Ooooh, no… no recovery here. I love genuflection, incense, and the Hail Mary, and I’m proud of it!
Ivan the Crank 09.26.06 at 8:55 pm
I’m still trying to figure out the Episcopalian and the dog collar. Quiche was way beyond me, but I would say that in my Methodist circles here in the south, casseroles and chicken would vie for first place. By the way, Bill Clinton and his request for a “quickie” shows he didn’t know quiche from casserole even though his wife is United Methodist. Perhaps they should have gone to more covered dish dinners.
Kim 09.26.06 at 9:14 pm
Ivan,
I’ve never heard Hilary described as a casserole before!
And Beth,
before the recovery from your addiction can begin, you must first acknowledge that you’ve got a problem.
Beth 09.26.06 at 10:56 pm
Kimmy, it’ll be a cold day in Hell…
Kim 09.26.06 at 11:20 pm
Well, Beth, the way I figure it, if we’ve got “global warming” on earth, maybe it’ll be compensated for by “infernal freezing” in hell!
oloryn 09.27.06 at 12:40 am
Perhaps they should have gone to more covered dish dinners.
I thought his problem was a failure to leave the dishes covered?