On friendship and grief

by Richard on January 23, 2007

Wood shares a poignant thought

People die in violence in every second of every day; if we bore the burden of the grief of every bereaved soul, we would all be crushed.

Grieving makes you selfish. When you grieve, it’s like the death of your friend is the most important thing in the world, that his death was the only death in the world. Because for you, it is.

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

1

Eugene McKinnon 01.24.07 at 4:11 pm

It’s okay to feel that way about grief, but I find it hard to say that grieving is selfish. If you feel sad that your friend is dead and that he or she will not be in your life anymore then it’s okay to grieve. It’s okay to share one’s grief as well to those who are not grieving, they are understanding and they are here to be there for you.

I’m sorry for your loss Wood. From what I heard Mike sounded like a good person and the world should mourn for someone like him and the work he did for others.

Blessings,

Eugene

2

angela tristram 01.30.07 at 5:55 pm

I find wood’s comments on grief very interesting especially grief as a selfish way of being. yes grief can be selfish but that is not all it is. grief is a response to the tearing away of someone who is a part of your life (a child, a parent a friend) and the finality of a physical contact. it can be the parents inability to protect its young from such a final act. Grief can also be a means of building; a motivator towards good; as in Mikes case a coming together to mourn him, to remeber him and to be angry of the way he died. Grief for Mike is propelling us towards making his dreams come true.

When grief it hits home it is an overwhelming crushing force and at that time it can feel like it is only happenning to you. I felt this, and still it can overwhelme me, but accepting grief as part of my life and my son who now shares his life with our lord I am able to smile; cry; laugh and thank God for him and all my dear friends who have gone before me.
Wood, thank you for your thoughts it is one i shall continue to chew upon and discuss elsewhere.

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