Hymn writing challenge

by Richard on January 29, 2007

ee felt inspired by Kim’s hymn (posted the other day) to set a hymn-writing challenge of his own:

Can anyone come up with some good hymn lyrics to go along with the following songs:

Come Together
Paranoid Android
American Idiot (perhaps just substituting ‘Fundamentalist’ for ‘American’ in the first line and progressing the idea from there?)
Sunny Afternoon
Daydream believer (come on, that one should be easy. ‘Now I’m a believer’ likewise).

Get to work!

Update:ee rises to his own challenge.

{ 27 comments… read them below or add one }


ee 01.30.07 at 2:25 pm

Richard, thanks for linking. I had to develop the Fundamentalist Idiot idea. Trust you know the tune.

(Verse 1)
Don’t wanna be a fundamentalist idiot
Numbed mind controlled by a dogma
Full of homophobic hysteria
Counting down the days to the Rapture

Welcome to a whole new religion
Where wealth and health shows your position
Tucked safe in God’s pocket, okay
Where you’re beamed straight to heaven tomorrow
And I’ll burn in hell if I don’t follow
No room for you to argue

Hermeneutics of anal retention
Just took seven days to make Creation
Hundred-forty-four thousand saved relations
In this limited atonement situation

(Chorus, verse 1, chorus to end)


Richard 01.30.07 at 2:29 pm

Nice one!


DH 01.30.07 at 3:30 pm

Richard, I always thought more of you that you would attack people using the terms “idiot” and the like. I really thought better than you on that.

Twenty years ago believing those things wouldn’t constitue you being a fundamentalist. That is in terms of attitude. Wow. It doesn’t seem right that people are labeled by others who have no idea what truly a fundamentalist is.

This whole thing and these type of posts are getting old.

Terrible one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


ee 01.30.07 at 4:05 pm

DH - sincere apologies, and I mean that, for the offence caused. I have an ongoing sin where I put humour above being kind to others, and I have regressed into it.

I would say however that I do have a good idea what a fundamentalist is, as I was one for the first seven years or so of my life as a Christian. I have lampooned a lot of beliefs above, but they are all ones which I have held at some time or other. I know where I am coming from, and I know the type of mindset that drives it. I also understand, coming from an evangelical church, that evangelical does not mean brainless. I personally separate ‘fundamentalist’ from ‘evangelical’, and most of my good Christian friends who have helped me enormously in my faith are evangelical.

The other thing I would say is that the main beliefs and attitudes I’ve had a go at are: limited atonement, the rapture, homophobia (by which I mean hatred/fear of gays rather than a moral problem with homosexual acts), wealth and health, literalistic interpretation, and an unquestioning attitude. I’d happily show that to my very evangelical pastor and he would laugh in agreement. They are not biblical beliefs by most evangelical interpretation.

But still - my main comment is the apology for the unkindness and offence caused, and an e-hand held out.


DH 01.30.07 at 5:08 pm

EE, no offense taken. I guess what is difficult is I don’t consider myself fundamentalist but when I read the “what you had a go at”: that I do believe that not all people will go to heaven “limited atonement?”, I do believe in the rapture, I do believe that God will bless but not the main emphesis in every way if we put our truth in Him and that includes to some extent health and wealth, I do believe in a literal interpretation of scripture and I do believe at times we should be unquestioning depending on the attitude of the question and/or questioner (are they truly wanting an answer or are there some alterior motives or predispositions behind the questioner and/or question?). You get my drift?


Eugene McKinnon 01.30.07 at 6:59 pm

I have a friend who took Red Hot Chili Peppers song Californication to explain the Early Church Father Irenaeus’ doctrine of recapitulation. Except he didn’t come up with the bridge.




Eugene McKinnon 01.30.07 at 7:03 pm

Here come old liberal
He don’t read his Bible.
He’s an eco-theo
Don’t drink Coca-Cola
He’s got care for those down on their knees.
One is so certain he can feel their disease.

For you DH to take on those nasty liberals like Kim and ee. Set to Come together.


DH 01.30.07 at 8:39 pm

Eugene, your funny. However the eco-theo and Coca-Cola part are things I support and enjoy. We all need to be good stewards of the environment irrespective of to what extent (if you get my drift) and Coca-Cola is one of my favorite drinks. It sure is better than Pepsi :). Hey, maybe we can “Come Together” on this more than we think. :)

Well, I wouldn’t call Kim and ee “nasty” but I get your humor and it is definitely appreciated. :)

Eugene, your great. You and I have come a long way from when we first both commented on Richard’s site.

Give me some time and I’ll come up with some appropriate words for songs involving Chrisian issues and the like. Hopefully you will appreciate it when I write it later. :)


Rick O'Donnell 01.31.07 at 1:03 am

Wait, is that ‘Sunny Afternoon’, by the Kinks? If so, maybe I’ve got something… :-)


Eugene McKinnon 01.31.07 at 2:17 am


I’m glad to see I put a smile on your face DH. The best thing about this blog is that Christians of all stripes can respectively dialogue even if it means joking around.


Eugene McKinnon


Eugene McKinnon 01.31.07 at 2:19 am

I would love to see one that would use the tune Karma Police by Radiohead.


ee 01.31.07 at 8:51 am

Eugene - I actually had Karma Police in mind, not Paranoid Android. It’s quite a hymn-like tune, in fact - shouldn’t be too difficult! And I like your Come Together.

DH - following on from your post on my blog, apologies for the offence I have caused you with this. I’ve deleted the entry from my own blog as on reflection I shouldn’t have posted it, it was bound to cause offence rather than dialogue. Besides, the people/beliefs who I was trying to get at were those who:
- Check out http://www.rapturereadyindex.com to see if it’s worth doing a whole week’s shop, or just getting a pint of milk and a loaf of bread to see them through til Friday;
- Tell people who are ill that they haven’t got enough faith;
- Name and claim a Porsche because it’s what Jesus would drive;
- Shun all non-Christians as reprobates because Christ died only for the elect.

Those people and beliefs have it coming to them. And I’d bet a fair amount that you don’t do any of that. You may be a fundamentalist, but not a fundamentalist idiot.


DH 01.31.07 at 2:44 pm

ee, WOW. That was really hilarious. I didn’t mean for you to delete your post but if you thought it was necessary then I respect that. You really seem to be a great guy. On that last sentence, it is great that you don’t think of me as an idiot but I don’t think you are going to be able to change my definition of what a fundamentalist is. The “rapture ready people website”? They are what would have been what were originally called “fundamentalists”. :) And yes your statements regarding “rapture ready index site” I stand 100% with you on.


DH 01.31.07 at 2:46 pm

Eugene, I’m not familiar with that tune. Is there one that is more in the mainstream (not that Radiohead isn’t) (I don’t know how to word this) that you would like for me to use?


ee 01.31.07 at 3:35 pm

DH - the song’s worth the price of the MP3 download - wonderful tune but thoroughly disturbing, and Eugene’s right, it could make a great hymn. Shame Radiohead got there first really.


Eugene McKinnon 01.31.07 at 4:36 pm

DH whatever tune is familiar to you go with it. You don’t have to use Radiohead, but if you are curious you can see the video on YouTube.com
It’s a little weird, but not as hideous as Paranoid Android. Whoa! That’s a wild video I never want to see again.




DH 01.31.07 at 7:07 pm

Okay you guys. Give a few days (I’m not that creative) and I’ll come up with something. :)


Paul 02.01.07 at 10:49 am

Coca-Cola, oh dear.

Have you no awareness of the way the bottling plants in India are taking the local people’s water and selling them toxic waste in return?

Of the number of Trade Union leaders murdered in Colombia for their activities in seeking workers’ rights? (I have eight names but the list continues to grow.)

I have a post on “A Mathematician’s Theology” which will update you.


Paul 02.01.07 at 10:52 am

Sorry for the second comment, but I thought this happier one should be separated from the rant above.

At the Christian Resoures Exhibition in Exeter last weekend, there was indeed a version of “Daydream Believer” with Christian lyrics being played. I’m only sorry I can’t tell you now on which stand or who had made the CD. I dare say a search will turn it up.


DH 02.01.07 at 5:39 pm

Paul, your first response reminds me of a Hugo Chavez rant. (just kidding). I never thought a love for Coca-Cola would start some Social hostility. I’m a person who doesn’t believe every “conspiracy theory” presented by people.


Paul 02.01.07 at 8:04 pm


It’s not a conspiracy theory. It is hard fact. War on Want has evidence. We also have eye-witness corroboration from an exchange student at our College about the water situation in South India.


DH 02.01.07 at 9:23 pm

It still seems over the top. After reviewing the way Coca-Cola is made I don’t see the process producing “toxic waste”. That is what seems over the top to me. Again I will say. I never thought my preference for Coca-Cola would cause Social rancor on this site.How many of the “Trade Union” Santanista, pro-Communist people? I would be interested in know that.


Paul 02.02.07 at 7:09 pm

The “toxic waste” has been analysed by government scientists in India. It contains high levels of cadmium - way above EU guidelines - and other toxic chemicals. I don’t have the details in front of me right now but I will look them up. Coca-Cola are selling it as “fertiliser”. The detail comes in a booklet produced by War on Want.

I’m sorry I ran off originally at such a high volume. I understand, though, that many US Universities eg New York have instituted a Coca-Cola boycott ie have stopped stocking it. There are law suits in America about the Colombian practices. This is serious stuff.

I don’t understand the comment about communists. I am talking about workers’ lives.


DH 02.02.07 at 7:29 pm

I only brought up the Communism thing in that many of these “workers” are adsvocating Communism to the detrimate of themselves and their country. Some of these people are radicals and are physically fighting. We need to take that into consideration. Also, I could care less about some liberal University boycotting Coca-Cola. It seems to me the booklets and the people saying these things about Coca-Cola have predispositions against big business and never can look at big busines ina any positive light even though thousands of jobs are created. I’m not saying big business does no wrong. However, we mustn’t assume “wrong” from one’s predisposition. What is the political and social predisposition of “War on Want”? Do they judge before looking into things? Do they do studies that are self-fulfilling prophesies to “support” their claims and thus “support” their predispostions? Just wondering.

I would be interested in the EPA standards of the India thing you brought up.

Enough already, All this is really “red-herrings” to the fact that this whole thread is down a road that was never intended.

For the up-teenth time. I never thought a particular taste or preference for a soft drink would cause such Social rancor in someone. This is where PC goes overboard and ridiculous.


Eugene McKinnon 02.05.07 at 3:14 am

DH and the rest,

What we have here is an ethical conscious issue. DH is quite comfortable drinking his Coca-Cola. I’m partial to the poison myself. Paul is aware of certain inethical actions Coca-Cola does in India by unloading cadmium onto the unsuspecting locals and claiming it is fertiliser.

It is important that we weigh and balance these issues, but at the same time respect each others consciences. DH is comfortable with drinking his Coke and he is probably supporting a local bottler by doing so and not necessarily seeing his consumption of the product harms Indian farmers. You do. My suggestion is that if you feel that Coke does more harm than good, boycott Coca Cola and it will send a message louder than words. If you want to drink Coke and feel that your conscience between God and your neighbour is clear then enjoy Coke.

And remember. The Kingdom of God is not about eating or drinking, but of righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit. Romans 14:17.


DH 02.05.07 at 3:45 pm

Eugene, how wonderful are your words here. Your Scripture you posted was perfect. PAUL, in an attitude of consideration even though we disagree, may God bless you. And to you Eugene, may God bless you as well. THank you for the wonderful balance in this latest post. I look forward to more threads where this care and consideration are enjoyed. :)


tilz 02.06.07 at 2:14 pm

you are only human, how do you know if Fundamentalist’s really are idiots.

1. an utterly foolish or senseless person.
2. Psychology. a person of the lowest order in a former classification of mental retardation, having a mental age of less than three years old and an intelligence quotient under 25.

are you even aware what an idiot is. i dont think you do, many fundamentalists have very good jobs. how very un PC of you, i agree with DH.

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