Zen Judaism

by Kim on March 17, 2007

Have you seen these?

If there is no self, then whose arthritis is this?

Be here now.
Be someplace else later.
Is that so complicated?

Drink tea and nourish life.
With the first sip, joy.
With the second, satisfaction.
With the third, peace.
With the fourth, a Danish.

Wherever you go, there you are.
Your luggage is another matter.

Accept misfortune as a blessing.
Do not wish for perfect health, or a life without problems.
What would you talk about?

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single, “Oy!”

There is no escaping karma.
In a previous life, you never called, you never wrote, you never visited.
You bastard!

Zen is not easy.
It takes effort to attain nothingness.
And then what do you have?

The Tao does not speak.
The Tao does not blame.
The Tao does not take sides.
The Tao has no expectations.
The Tao demands nothing of tohers.
The Tao is not Jewish.

Breathe in. Breathe out.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Forget this and attaining enlightenment will be the least of your problems.

Let your mind be as a floating cloud.
Let your stillness be as a wooded glen.
And sit up straight, for heaven’s sake.
You’ll never meet the Buddha with such rounded shoulders.

Be patient and achieve all things.
Be impatient and achieve all things faster.

To find the Buddha, look within.
Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers.
Each flower blossoms ten thousand times.
Each blossom has ten thousand petals.
So you might want to see a specialist.

To practice Zen and the art of Jewish motorcycle maintenance, do the following:
Get rid of the motorcycle. What on earth were you thinking?

Be aware of your body.
Be aware of your perceptions.
And keep in mind that not every physical sensation is a symptom of terminal illness.

The Torahs says, “Love your neighbour as yourself.”
The Buddha says there is no “self”.
So maybe we’re off the hook!

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }


Wood 03.17.07 at 1:38 pm



Richard 03.17.07 at 5:10 pm

?! :)


Chris 03.17.07 at 7:29 pm

nice post


Eugene McKinnon 03.17.07 at 11:35 pm

Good latkes cannot be learned. They just happen.

A traveller once came upon the house of a rabbi. Noticing that the rabbi owned not even a stick of furniture, the traveller asked, “Rabbi, where’s your furniture?” “Where’s yours?” replied the rabbi. “I have none, I’m a traveller.” “So am I.”


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