Satire warning

by Richard on September 20, 2007

How to read the Bible the RIGHT way

Remember, knowledge puffs up, so you need to have as little of it as possible (1 Cor. 8:1). In addition, many of these “scholars” use un-American languages like Greek and Hebrew to make their points, so it’s not wise to trust them. A lot of them are also Democrats.

You don’t want anything standing between the pure Word of God and your brain. These various “scholarly” works tend to overly complicate things, when interpreting a document over 2,000 years old should be extremely simple. The Bible, written in it’s unadulterated English form, should be all you need. Preferably the King James Version.

via blogs4God

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

1

Kim 09.21.07 at 1:07 am

I’ve got a postcard that Beth gave me attached to one of my bookshelves. It shows a bearded guy looking up to the heavens and holding a Bible in his right hand and a placard in his left (he is clearly on a demonstration). The placard reads:

GOD HATES BOOK LERNERS

with the biblical references Psalm 5:5, Psalm 11:5, and Amos 5:15, which suggest that said “book lerners” are proud, wicked, and lawless. Rowan Williams to a “T”.

2

Jan 09.21.07 at 1:48 am

But surely the Bible is plain in its meaning? We just have to read it! Of course, its plain meaning is the one that I actually see in it. I’m afraid you must be wrong if you see something else.

Stress again, I’m being sarcastic.

OOPS, forgot to enter the anti-spam word which was “chips.” Second attempt suggests “glutton.” I hope God is not using your anti-spam filter to tell me something.

3

Jan 09.21.07 at 1:52 am

Richard,

Perhaps you need to look at your anti-spam script. As mentioned above, I forgot to enter the original word. Back button took me back with comment intact but with a new word suggested. Filled that in and was rejected. This happened several times with several different anti-spam words. Finally I entered the original word I had previously omitted, although that hadn’t been suggested again, and was accepted.

BTW, love the choice of words.

4

Matt Robison 09.21.07 at 4:54 am

Hey, thanks for the plug!

I’m glad someone found it worthy to link to.

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