A Methodist? She can sing - alas, she lacks the requisite sobriety.
An Anglican? Well, she likes fancy dress - and she’s in quite a mess.
A Catholic? She could certainly do with spending a fair bit of time in the confessional.
A Southern Baptist? Hardly - she makes a poor case for Intelligent Design.
A Seventh Day Adventist? Perhaps if she could resurrect her career - and come again.
A Quaker? But could she keep quiet?
No, she’s got to be with the Presbyterians. Check out the anagram!