Amazing grace

by Richard on January 23, 2008

A little while ago, I came across a parody of the popular hymn Amazing grace written, according to the author, as it would be “if it was sung by an Arminianist”. Sadly, the link I had has gone to glory but the first verse will give you the flavour.

Arminian grace! How strange the sound
Salvation hinged on ME
I once was lost then turned around
Was blind then chose to see

(I dare say that Google would still turn up the full 4 verses somewhere on the internet. Call it homework)
I’m sure it was offered in the spirit of that good-natured joshing that goes on between Christians of different persuasions, and in that same spirit I offer my own version as if it were sung by a Calvinisticist.

Amazing thought! You call it “grace”
That saves and damns at whim?
That blinds the lost, condemns a host
And turns them into toast?

Tis “grace” like this that makes me fear
This “grace” my fear inspires:
Whatever I may think or do
I’m fuel for his fires.

The dangers, trials and snares I see
Are all illusory:
I’m either picked before I’m born
Or else, I’m history!

The Lord has promised naught to me
If I’m not on his list
If this is grace, how bad’s the curse?
I’m going to get drunk.

;)
A bit of good-natured parody is OK I reckon — as long as we recognize that it *is* parody, and doesn’t really represent the nuanced thinking of those who hold different opinions to ourselves.

OK?

And my very sincere apologies to Mr John Newton.

You got me again. This is another reblog brought on by a lack of inspiration.

{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }

1

Olive Morgan 01.23.08 at 12:47 am

Having just read Dave’s latest post on ‘42′, I think it’s a good thing you weren’t writing about cyclists!

2

Bob Cornwall 01.23.08 at 12:47 am

Here’s a link — http://www.challies.com/archives/general-news/arminian-grace.php

This one is to a John MacArthur fan —

I like yours better

3

Rachel 01.23.08 at 4:40 am

Haha! That’s great. I especially like the third verse. I actually just posted a few thoughts on election over at my blog: http://rachelvz.blogspot.com/

(shameless self-promotion, i know)

4

Kim 01.23.08 at 7:08 am

Tremendous (apart from the iffy rhyme scheme)!

The really funny thing is that, in some Calvinist [sic] circles, it’s not a parody (except perhaps the bit about getting drunk). I’m sure it would make old Karl smile!

5

Richard 01.23.08 at 7:18 am

Olive: I would never parody cyclists, for fear of inspiring Dave’s wrath. I wouldn’t want to upset him…

Thanks for that link Bob. I knew someone would save me the work.

Rachel, I have no problem with a little shameless self-promotion. After all, as a great man once said, we might not blow our own trumpets but there’s no harm in letting us know that you’ve got a trumpet.

Kim. I’m cut to the quick. Iffy rhyme scheme? That’s art, that is.

6

Will 01.23.08 at 8:57 am

Awesome! Even better if you sing it to the Gilligan’s Island theme song (OK, that might me a little too American).

7

Richard 01.23.08 at 9:08 am

That’s a jolly tune — and you’d get away with it in Britain. I don’t remember Gilligan’s Island ever being on telly here.

8

Dave Warnock 01.23.08 at 9:40 am

Richard,

Feel free to parody away.

9

Beth 01.23.08 at 10:07 am

It would also work really well to the tune of House of the Rising Sun, which would also convey a nice and gloomy tone to go with the words. Next year’s Christmas No. 1, anyone?

10

Richard 01.23.08 at 2:25 pm

You say that now, Dave. But how do I know that you would use it alter as an excuse for a spate of sickening gratuitous violence?

11

DH 01.23.08 at 3:01 pm

To Bob Cornwall: Well I’m a John MacArthur fan myself but I find it interesting that the site mentions “Arminian” with regard to him when in fact he is not Arminian.

Richard, why project something that rejects outright all of Calvinism (or at least appears to be doing that) when in fact Calvinismis partly right? The same goes for Arminianism. If this is a parody of the extremes I understand. However, some of the parody just doesn’t do justice to the fact there will be a judgement, lack of fire, heaven/hell, etc. That without Faith people will go to hell and with Faith people will go to heaven. “Without Faith it is impossible to please God.”

Also, to those 100% Calvinist and 100% Arminians: Predestiniation doesn’t imply predetermination. Something can be predestined but that doesn’t mean it is predetermined. Hense myself being a CalviMinian.

So my question is: What would Amazing Grace be for a Calviminan like myself? :)

12

Dave Warnock 01.23.08 at 3:39 pm

Richard,

Oh ye of little faith. Of course I am looking for an excuse to launch gratuitous violence against you. Come to think of it, if it is going to be gratuitous I don’t need an excuse do I. Just wait til you come within reach!

13

Richard 01.23.08 at 4:26 pm

Gulp! I’m going straight into hiding…

But before I go, I need to own up to not understanding DH’s last comment. I hope I can find a safe house with internet access.

14

Dave Warnock 01.23.08 at 4:53 pm

Safe house with Internet access is an oxymoron, we can track you, there is no escape!

15

DH 01.23.08 at 5:49 pm

Richard you don’t know what CalviMinian is? I might have explained it awhile back but I have no problem explaining it again. I’m not 100% Arminian because true Arminianism requires the belief that God has limited omnipotence in knowing who will accept or reject Him for Salvation. I’m not 100% Calvinist because I don’t believe that it is taking Scripture out of context to say that the term predestination in the Bible is predetermination when in fact it is actually God’s forknowledge. God know before hand doesn’t mean that it is predetermined by God. Before the foundation of the world He knew us but He didn’t predetermine us if you get my drift.

At the same time I adhere to both without the extremes because both withotu the extremes are correct. I also believe that they only contradict each other when in the extreme. Without the extreme or pure adherance to Calvinism or Arminianism there is no contradiction. Does that make sense? If you would like further clarification just ask. I’m more than willing to answer any questions regarding this subject you may have.

16

ZJ 05.28.11 at 5:14 pm

DH - please explain to me how your worldview fits with Romans 9 or John 10 or Ephesians 1. How is it that God has foreknowledge, yet doesn’t actually determine anything. If he can’t control anything, he’s pretty weak. If he doesn’t control anything, but could, how is that any less “wicked” than him setting some apart for mercy and some for wrath? If evil didn’t exist, how would you know good? Also, grace + anything is no longer grace, but works, is it not?

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