Guys, welcome to leadership…the husband gets commended when it is going well and he gets the heat when it is not. A happy, holy wife is a wonderful endeavor for a husband. A husband must learn to keep the pulse of how his wife is doing (spiritually, emotionally, physically) and if it has gotten to the point that they are in my office for marriage counseling and he is pointing the finger at her…he is in need of some biblical adjustment.
Both Christian egalitarians and advocates of male-headship often present themselves as believing that husbands and wives are called to put their spouse first. The difference in the two attitudes isn’t really even about ‘what women are permitted to do in Church’. The big difference is the attitude of male-headship that women and our lives can be controlled and led by men. That we are not and never will be full adults. And that co-dependent relationships - with the man responsible for controlling his wife’s mental, emotional and spiritual responses - are What God Wants.
Tell ‘em, Pam. The giveaway, if the truth of Pam’s position isn’t blindingly obvious to you, is that the ‘christian counselor’ speaks of the husband guiding the wife in exactly the same sort of terms that dog trainers use when advising new owners. It’s just repugnant.