The Iceland volcano is God’s judgement!

by Kim on April 23, 2010

Has anyone noticed that no one seems to be proclaiming that the volcanic eruptions in Iceland are a sign of God’s judgement? Why not?

First, because no one seems to have been killed. How can there be a divine judgement without a shedload of smiting?

Second, where are the wicked - the liberals, feminists, and homosexuals responsible for 9/11; the drinkers, gamblers, and prostitutes responsible for Hurricane Katrina; the foreigners and pagans responsible for the 2004 Boxing Day tsunami; and the voodooists and satanists responsible for the recent earthquake in Haiti? Granted, a few villages near the volcano have had to be abandoned. But that’s hardly payback for Iceland pissing off the US by declaring itself a nuclear-free zone, having a universal healthcare system, and ranking the most developed nation in the world on the UN Human Development Index; nor will the UK consider such minor local disruption sufficient comeuppance for losing the coddamn fishing wars in the seventies.

And, third, because the volcanic fallout has affected mainly business interests - the airline and tourist industries - and the relatively well-to-do who can afford to travel abroad. These folk are the elect and the blessed. The poor and vulnerable who bore the brunt of the aforesaid catastrophes - they remain largely unscathed by the eruption, and how can there be a divine judgement without the wretched getting shafted and being made more wretched still?

However, it is a mistake to think that the volcano is not God’s judgement. It most certainly is. It is just that it is not a retributive judgement, the default position of false prophets, but a restorative judgement. How so? Here are five reasons.

(1) The unprecedented shutdown in air traffic has resulted in jet-free blue skies, less atmospheric noise, and a stunning display of the Northern Lights. “Chill,” says the Lord; “be still; listen; look!”

(2) Despite the fact that the volcano has been a pain in the ash, nevertheless, some scientists are claiming that the pace of global warming will be marginally slowed. God is green!

(3) Iceland - Iceland! - this tinpot icebox of a country hits the news. God raises the humble!

(4) The unpronounceable name of the volcano, Eyjafjallajokull, has turned normally word-perfect newsreaders into a laughingstock. God humbles the proud!

(5) The sulphuric smell of the volcanic gases is suggestive of egg farts. One woman in the path of the fumes said that at first she thought they emanated from her young daughter or the animals in the field. God has a sense of humour!

Yes, the Iceland volcano is surely God’s judgement. Romans 11:33!

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04.23.10 at 10:22 pm

{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

1

Richard 04.23.10 at 3:05 pm

Nice one!

But see this: Orthodox experts considers Iceland volcano eruption a sign of God’s wrath

Moscow, April 20, Interfax – Eruption of the Iceland volcano is a display of God’s wrath, the Association of Orthodox Experts believes.

“Is it possible that Europe further abandoning its Christian heritage does not to see that eruption of the Iceland volcano with its ash cloud that paralyzed life of the “most progressive” society is a menacing sign of God?” the Association’s activists said in their statement conveyed to Interfax-Religion on Tuesday.

They noted that Iceland “has recently become a center of European neo-paganism of Aryan occult kind, which has Nazi character” as Iceland has headquartered the Association of European Ethnic Religions that has recently worked out a draft of merger between the World Pagan Assembly and International Pagan Alliance.

The authors of the statement remind that PACE at its April session plans to discuss rights of various minorities, especially sexual, and that “major part of European deputies propose that all states of the Council of Europe should introduce a subject on peculiarities of homosexual behavior in the school curriculum.”

“Is it possible that once Christian Europe has forgotten the Holy Scripture and the destiny of Sodom and Gomorrah?” the experts wonder urging deputies of Russia, Ukraine and other Orthodox states to oppose such attempts.

2

Kim 04.23.10 at 3:49 pm

I recant!

3

Richard 04.23.10 at 4:04 pm

I wish the Orthodox had a GodTV equivalent. Could be fun!

4

Sally 04.23.10 at 5:17 pm

excellent post, and interesting comment Richard, I guess someone had to do it!

5

Paul Martin 04.23.10 at 5:20 pm

Kim you sure kick arse!

back to God TV now….

6

Tom 04.23.10 at 6:44 pm

but have you thought…?
1)This was the stillness, the chill that came after the Pliocene period, when after a supervolcano eruption there was another!!! major extinction….
2) much less warmed - after an eruption of a volcano - krakatoa or someting like that… the world missed on summer in the north and south and there was famine…
3) Icreland —- aahhh —- frozen groceries and cheap vegies… They still have lots of your money!!! and they refuse to hand it back…
4) humbles the proud… yes with cities like…Self-oss in Suðurland the and the capital of iceland is in Höfuðborgarsvæði…who invented this alphabet???
5) you have not been down wind of many farts… cows… nothing!! compared to that gentle hiss in a lift, going up fifty floors!!!

Great fun reading it.

7

Lorna (see-throughfaith) 04.23.10 at 8:01 pm

thanks for this. H/t to Sally for sending me your way

8

malc 04.23.10 at 9:05 pm

Actually they have… just not the Christians though…

9

Analog Kid 04.25.10 at 9:43 pm

I just posted a similar commentary today.

10

John 05.01.10 at 3:17 pm

Anytime you can include egg farts into a piece that really gets you thinking about faith…you’ve done an outstanding job!

Thanks for this post. Stay blessed…john

11

Fettuccina 05.22.11 at 5:45 pm

It is well known that Icelandians have long been proponents of Pastafarianism and have supplied a fair amount of pirates, so i agree that it makes sense that the Flying Spaghetti Monster would bestow his blessing upon them. Thank you for this beautiful article, and I will continue to support you in your quest to spread FSMism to the masses. May you always be touched by his noodly appendage. RAmen.

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