Apparently you can even see it from space

by Richard on January 25, 2011

Gap Between Rich And Poor Named 8th Wonder Of The World

At a press conference Tuesday, the World Heritage Committee officially recognized the Gap Between Rich and Poor as the “Eighth Wonder of the World,” describing the global wealth divide as the “most colossal and enduring of mankind’s creations.”

“Of all the epic structures the human race has devised, none is more staggering or imposing than the Gap Between Rich and Poor,” committee chairman Henri Jean-Baptiste said. “It is a tremendous, millennia-old expanse that fills us with both wonder and humility.”

“And thanks to careful maintenance through the ages, this massive relic survives intact, instilling in each new generation a sense of awe,” Jean- Baptiste added.

The vast chasm of wealth, which stretches across most of the inhabited world, attracts millions of stunned observers each year, many of whom have found its immensity too overwhelming even to contemplate. By far the largest man-made structure on Earth, it is readily visible from locations as far-flung as Eastern Europe, China, Africa, and Brazil, as well as all 50 U.S. states.

“The original Seven Wonders of the World pale in comparison to this,” said World Heritage Committee member Edwin MacAlister, standing in front of a striking photograph of the Gap Between Rich and Poor taken from above Mexico City. “It is an astounding feat of human engineering that eclipses the Great Wall of China, the Pyramids of Giza, and perhaps even the Great Racial Divide.”

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01.25.11 at 10:00 am

{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

1

Kim 01.25.11 at 11:08 am

The sardonic irony of the spokesmen of the World Heritage Committee is quite brilliant. But as we gaze with fear and trembling at this awesome structure - which should be extended to include the vast tracks of environmental degradation - let us not forget its planners and builders: Global Capitalism and Market Forces, with special, well-deserved congratulations to the United States of America, which with half the world’s wealth but only six per cent of its population controls international finance (and within which - you don’t have to travel abroad - you can view truly magnificent displays of crushing poverty in the midst of glittering shrines of opulence).

And how appropriate that this modern Eighth Wonder joins the venerable ancient wonders including not only the Great Pyramid of Giza but also the Temple of Artemis at Ephesus, the Statue of Zeus at Olympus, and the Colossus of Rhodes - all pagan monuments. If idols are deities to whom the lives of the masses are sacrificed on the altar of necessity by the priesthood of the elite, then what else are Capitalism and the Market? And what can we do but bow down and worship?

2

Wood 01.25.11 at 12:49 pm

(Kim! Kim! It’s on the Onion! It’s a spoof! An hilarious one, a spot-on one, but it’s a spoof!)

3

Kim 01.25.11 at 3:34 pm

But there is a World Heritage Committee, right? Which did the official “recognition”, right? If not, then, yes, that’s a spoof - and gottcha, Kim! In any case, as you say, Wood, “spot-on”.

4

Beth 01.25.11 at 5:26 pm

I doubt the World Heritage people had anything to do with it, Kimmy - The Onion should be taken with at least a lakeful of salt!

5

Wood 01.26.11 at 2:32 pm

Yeah. Seriously, Kim, it’s funny, but it never actually happened. it’s satire.

6

Paul 01.26.11 at 7:54 pm

Makes you think ! Makes you cry ! Great posts !

7

doug 01.26.11 at 9:33 pm

I’m with Wood on this one. Never have been a big “Onion” fan.

8

Kim 01.26.11 at 9:47 pm

Er, Wood is not with you, Doug. Again, you show youself to be a master misreader.

9

Wood 01.27.11 at 9:57 am

It’s true! I love the Onion.

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