The Haircut

by Richard on February 9, 2011

OK. Cheap shots are easy. But it gave me a smile nonetheless.

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, ‘I cannot accept money from you, I’m doing community service this week.’ The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a ‘thank you’ card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, ‘I cannot accept money from you , I’m doing community service this week.’ The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a ‘thank you’ card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, ‘I can not accept money from you. I’m doing community service this week.’ The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop.. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen other Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut.

{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }

1

David 02.09.11 at 1:33 pm

the old ones are the best ones!

2

Wood 02.09.11 at 3:01 pm

It’s older than you think. It reminds me a little of a story about the Emperor Hadrian, written about 1700 years ago, in the Historia Augusta.

Hadrian goes to the baths, and he sees an older man scratching his back against a pillar. He gets a flunky to bring the man over to him and says, “hey, old guy, don’t you have a slave to do that?” The man says, “I’m a veteran of your British campaign and I’m too poor to afford it.” Hadrian is scandalised, and snaps his fingers and says, “Get this man a slave!” The man tugs his forelock and goes away happy.

The following day, Hadrian rocks up at the baths and it’s full of old guys scratching their backs against posts.

It’s old. I didn’t say it was funny.

3

Richard 02.09.11 at 4:01 pm

Now Wood, if you’d told us the story in Latin we might have been impressed. ;)

4

Wood 02.09.11 at 4:20 pm

If you insist:

Publice frequenter et cum omnibus lavit. Ex quo ille iocus balnearis innotuit: nam cum quodam tempore veteranum quendam notum sibi in militia dorsum et ceteram partem corporis vidisset adterere parieti, percontatus, cur se marmoribus destringendum daret, ubi audivit hoc idcirco fieri quod servum non haberet, et servis eum donavit et sumptibus. Verum alia die cum plures senes ad provocandam liberalitatem principis parieti se adtererent, evocari eos iussit et alium ab alio invicem defricari. (SHA, Vita Hadriani cap. XVII)

Impressed?

5

Wood 02.09.11 at 4:21 pm

Oh, and the Latin includes the bit at the end I missed out of my precis.

6

Richard 02.09.11 at 4:50 pm

Deeply.

7

Tony Buglass 02.09.11 at 4:56 pm

If I could say in Latin that I’m impressed, I’d impress myself. But I can’t. So I won’t.

8

Doug 02.09.11 at 5:11 pm

“I’mway impressedway”

:) This is Latin

or how about this:

Oneway ayday away oristflay entway otay away arberbay orfay away
aircuthay. Afterway ethay utcay, ehay askedway aboutway ishay
illbay, andway ethay arberbay epliedray, ‘Iway annotcay
acceptway oneymay omfray ouyay, Iway’may oingday ommunitycay
ervicesay isthay eekway.’ Ethay oristflay asway easedplay andway
eftlay ethay opshay. Enwhay ethay arberbay entway otay openway
ishay opshay ethay extnay orningmay, erethay asway away ‘ankthay
ouyay’ ardcay andway away ozenday osesray aitingway orfay imhay
atway ishay oorday.

Aterlay, away opcay omescay inway orfay away aircuthay, andway
enwhay ehay iestray otay aypay ishay illbay, ethay arberbay
againway epliedray, ‘Iway annotcay acceptway oneymay omfray
ouyay , Iway’may oingday ommunitycay ervicesay isthay eekway.’
Ethay opcay asway appyhay andway eftlay ethay opshay. Ethay
extnay orningmay enwhay ethay arberbay entway otay openway upway
, erethay asway away ‘ankthay ouyay’ ardcay andway away ozenday
onutsday aitingway orfay imhay atway ishay oorday.

Enthay away Embermay ofway Arliamentpay amecay inway orfay away
aircuthay, andway enwhay ehay entway otay aypay ishay illbay,
ethay arberbay againway epliedray, ‘Iway ancay otnay acceptway
oneymay omfray ouyay. Iway’may oingday ommunitycay ervicesay
isthay eekway.’ Ethay Embermay ofway Arliamentpay asway eryvay
appyhay andway eftlay ethay opshay.. Ethay extnay orningmay,
enwhay ethay arberbay entway otay openway upway, erethay ereway
away ozenday otherway Embersmay ofway Arliamentpay inedlay upway aitingway orfay away eefray aircuthay.

Are you guys impressed. :) this is latin

9

Doug 02.09.11 at 5:12 pm

albeit pig latin.

10

Kim 02.09.11 at 5:13 pm

To the original post: David Cameron’s Societas Magna? Stercus tauri! (Take a guess.)

11

Kim 02.09.11 at 5:16 pm

To be honest, Doug, it makes as much sense as your usual comments, if not more. ;)

12

Doug 02.09.11 at 6:03 pm

touche’ to your comments as well :)

13

Doug 02.09.11 at 6:31 pm

Kim, I just thought you would appreciate my latin even though it is pig latin. Come on Kim have a sense of humor. You got to admit that what I posted was very funny. :)

14

Tony Buglass 02.09.11 at 9:31 pm

My dad used to use pig Latin to say things to my mother that we weren’t supposed to understand. We worked it out…

15

Doug 02.09.11 at 10:00 pm

Tony, Thats funny. :)

Tony, in reference to Tim and all you Canadians, that conversation between your mom and dad sure would have had lots of “ay’s” in it. Ay? :)

16

Tony Buglass 02.10.11 at 10:27 am

Just in case you’re confusing us, Doug, I’m not Canadian - I’m a Geordie. That means I come from the Newcastle upon Tyne area, and I have a very distinctive accent and a dialect which most southerners find impenetrable. I do speak English, but the dialect is my native language! And - to pick up your ‘ay?’ - one of our local comments is “Wey aye, man!”

I also reckon I’d speak biblical Hebrew with a Galilean accent… ;)

17

Kim 02.10.11 at 10:37 am

I do speak English …

I think that’s a stretch, Tony. Besides, with the accent, how would we ever know? :)

18

Kim 02.10.11 at 10:42 am

BTW, Tony, remember Doug is an American. Trying to place two foreign countries on a mental map at the same time is likely to make his brain explode. But then perhaps that is your cunning plan? ;)

19

Doug 02.10.11 at 9:09 pm

I wasn’t saying Tony that you were Canadican. I was replying to your response and hense your name and the comment was for your viewing but in reference to Tim as a Canadian. Believe me I knew all along you were not Canadian but was acknowledging my response to your response with my response directed toward the Canadian accent of potentially Tim (a Canadian or any other Canadians) with the dialect of “ay”. Does that make sense or is this as “clear as mud”.

20

Mendip Nomad 02.10.11 at 9:28 pm

Doug, I will say that I did get what you meant at 15 :) Having lived in the US I also fully understand the jokish reference to Canadians and their “ays”. :D I may have difficulty understanding where you coming from a lot of the time, but I got you this time ;)

21

Doug 02.10.11 at 9:54 pm

Thanks Mendip. At least someone saw my sense of humor. It is great to know that at least you can see it. Ay? :)

22

Tony Buglass 02.11.11 at 10:08 am

Yes, Doug - that’s why I wrote “just in case”; your sentence structure left both possiblities open. And the Canuck “ay” just seemed to me to want a proper Geordie “Wey aye!”

There was an amazing Canadian minister in the Methodist Church in the North of England when I first became a Christian. His name was Wes Ball, and he was stationed in Durham - he was worried abut being part of the United Church of Canada, because he reckoned if he was promoted he might become Canon Ball…

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